Tips to custom cancer braceletshelp parents cope

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Timothy Kelly, a licensed clinical psychologist from the United States, has practiced in Shanghai for the past eight years. [Photo/China Daily]

Training for parents who suddenly find their child diagnosed with chronic illness, which brings a huge change to the family, is of great importance.

In addition to seeking help from a medical specialist, they may also turn to a psychologist if they feel pressure.

Here are some strategies for parents based on my own experiences and research.

First, parents need to educate themselves on the disease. They need to understand and accept the illness and figure out who are the best doctors and what are the treatments, their pluses and minuses.

They must listen to the child and let them express their full heart, no matter if it is fear or complaint. It is of equal importance to accept support from family, friends and community and not become isolated.

Also, parents should not lower their standards for the child"s behavior when he or she becomes sick. For example, parents should not allow the child to curse siblings and should require them to talk to parents respectfully, as usual. It helps the child feel that things don"t change.

Last but not least, do not forget to have fun. It can be a family movie night or shopping that the family members really enjoy. And we often overlook the role of music, which has healing qualities. Music can be played at home on a daily basis.

Parents also need to help children with chronic illness deal with such issues as change in body image, loss of sense of independence and relationships with peers, and manage the teasing that almost all such children and adolescents have to struggle with.

Parents are also encouraged to help children cope with fears about death.

Many diseases can be mortal, and the children or adolescents know it or have witnessed it in the hospital ward. Psychologists and parents can invite them for a talk whenever they feel a need.

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